If You Were Here Today

If you were here today, I would have invited you into my room and showed you the place I’ve been given for a month. It has comfortable beds and the softest pillows I’ve ever come across! I would have offered you the laddoos that my mother sent with me, just a little snack from home. You know how mothers are. You would have loved them.

I would have told you about my first day at my first job. I would have told you how surprised I was that I didn’t get bored in the orientation. You would have loved the people here, at least those that I’ve met till now (save a crabby cab driver). Then I would have told you how lost I was about the income tax returns, and the various banks. I would have cribbed about how I don’t feel old enough to do all this and you would have laughed. You would have told me to grow up. Well, the process has begun.

If you were here today, I would have told you about the delicious bagara baingan that I had for lunch today. It tasted just like my mother makes it. I don’t know if I’ll ever learn to cook. I think I’ll just manage to survive.

I would have told you how excited I was to start the new chapter in my life, and at the same time, how intimidated. I would have told you that I’m scared I’m not good enough, and you would have encouraged me. And you would have made me see that I am. I can almost hear you say ‘You deserve this’. And I would have believed you. I would have believed in myself.

Then I would have told you how frustrating it is to look for houses. I would have told you how I want to step into a house and see my home in there. Too much of a dreamer? Maybe.

If you were here today, I would have told you how I had forgotten that I’m growing up. I’m almost 22 now, but I don’t feel like an adult. I don’t feel responsible enough. I’m not. I won’t make a great adult. But I guess I’ll settle for being a good child-at-heart adult.

If you were here today, I would have had a lot to tell you.

If you were here.

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